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Post by Benny the Bear on Dec 14, 2008 21:11:00 GMT -5
So was Tropi. Mostly because it was a run-on-sentance as well as a wall of text. That, mostly. You are trying to do too many things all at once, as I will break down for you.
Q1 "You may call me Doyle if you wish, my spiky amigo. And you? Q2 Ha, the old porn in the Bible trick. Have you been a naughty boy? S1 Really, I'm just having fun with you and this fanclub you have going on. S2 It's like you're some kind of rockstar, at least you got the look and definitely the rockin' hair. Hmmm, maybe that's why....I can tell we're going to be good friends, I can see you know how to have a ton of fun. S3 But really you should be more concerned with the certain "someone" half checking you out that I saw when I was up there. I think you know who I'm talking about. S4 Be wary of that one, something in those eyes tell me about the thoughts of you. Q3 And I think you may want it as well, but that's just my opinion. Who knows?"
So... first paragraph and already you have 3 questions and 4 statements, and then you go on to talk to Yoko, throw a pebble at Fizz and then talk to Em again, making another 2 statements and asking him 3 questions.... a bit much, no? Em will probably have made a single, quick, reply before having to go up on stage as he and the other heads have been called on up to there, so Doyle wouldn't have had the time to do all that. Basically, too much talky. Take Connie for example: paragraphs of text, but nothing that doesn't give the other person a chance to reply. Too hard, maybe. Don't think things up to say/do for the sake of lengthening yer post and even if you hadn't planned to, erase the parts you don't believe are vital. It's not like you're making the post to end them all, you will have plenty of time to say/do things in following posts or even threads.
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Post by Doyle on Dec 14, 2008 21:24:02 GMT -5
Thank you Benny. One problem I've had with writing in the past is trying to wrap something up cause I sometimes have a hard time thinking where or how to end. Ideas keep coming and may lead to being run-on if if I'm not careful. Also I have an easier time thinking of stuff to say than to physically do since my guy isn't moving around that much. Lastly I'm still kind of new to how RPs work despite having written a lot in the past in general so I'm still getting used to interactions. So all I can do is learn from you guys who have more experience in an RP. As long as we all have fun with it.
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Post by Shani on Dec 18, 2008 14:12:47 GMT -5
Hawt dayum! Mizzy, that post is impressive =P
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Post by mizzy on Dec 18, 2008 14:21:58 GMT -5
Hawt dayum! Mizzy, that post is impressive =P Thankies. I still see a lot wrong with it though. Like the blatant omission of certain details like attire and the suitcase she was supposed to have. Also, I think the pace moved a little too quickly. =P
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Post by Doyle on Dec 18, 2008 21:10:37 GMT -5
Well, Mizzy's post is certainly the longest I've ever seen for one character so that's some accomplishment. I looked at it and I was like wow, this will take a while. Good job on your hard work.
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Zaos
Junior Member
[Z0:9]All the best things in life - are not really things at all.
Posts: 79
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Post by Zaos on Dec 20, 2008 19:39:29 GMT -5
Sorry it took me so long to reply to the RP everyone =) I had finals this week and it killed my inspiration until today. X3
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Post by Shani on Dec 21, 2008 5:09:01 GMT -5
That's ok, my inspiration is suffering a bit too; been working on a gift for mom's bday and now there's xmas to think of X3 maybe I'll get Benny to help me.
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Post by Doyle on Jan 20, 2009 16:21:19 GMT -5
I'm wondering how Sia or Bandit can see my guy if he's invisible.
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Post by mizzy on Jan 20, 2009 17:21:15 GMT -5
I'm wondering how Sia or Bandit can see my guy if he's invisible. Invisible doesn't mean undetectable. You'll still be visible as a heat signature in infrared and ultraviolet light. And frankly, the science of invisibility right now would only allow you to bend light, meaning you would even be visible to the naked eye when moving because of the distortion of light. And I'm wondering myself, why the heck is your character staying invisible or even invisible to begin with? He's not trying to sneak onto the ship if he's a member of the crew.
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Post by Benny the Bear on Jan 20, 2009 17:21:48 GMT -5
Well... I don't think you specified the extent to which your cloaking technology is effective, leading some of the RP'ers to believe that the complex sensory of creatures such as insects would be capable of detecting his presence by way of: Seeing through the optical guise using wave-lengths that the device hasn't been intended for (bees, as well as a few other animals all across the animal kingdom can see ultra-violet rays), Polarization (many types of arthropods; polarizing light can remove reflections from most objects and make water seem totally transparent from the surface), Heat signature (snakes, bats, etc.), Electroception (eels, monotremes) and Magnetoception (birds and bees). Watching an animal show on Discovery channel or some such, I learned that viewing the world though a camera that allows you to see the ultra-violet and infra-red wave-lengths reveals a much different representation of the world, making things such as flowers assume totally different colors and patterns than what we can see. The following wiki links may be of interest: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sense#Non-human_sensesen.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simple_eyes_in_arthropodsEdit: hah, looks like mizzy beat me to it. But yeah, you can't actually be "invisible" per say, even if cloaking tech got to the point where the suit could detect whatever it sees on one side and project it on the other side more or less perfectly, it couldn't possibly make up for the person's shadow as it wouldn't actually "project" light but simply display an image of whatever it's seeing.
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Post by Tropico on Jan 20, 2009 18:39:21 GMT -5
And again, Bandit is a robot, he is outfitted with alot of hot gizmos. One of them has to do with viewing the heat signatures around him, like on Ghost hunters. Though this thermal imager will be commonly used for finding a potential invading substances, like a sentient space fungus.... or just 'see in the dark' more clearly, incase there are unwanteds in a very dark room.
The joy of being THE computer...
....it comes with the fact that you also count as a Security device.
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Post by Elliot on Jan 24, 2009 3:27:27 GMT -5
Slipped my mind, I probably could have explained that better. Sia didn't really "see" him, it was more of a mix of using the scent on the chair, testing the air, and seeing Bandit go dashing after a target. She just kinda knew he was there through means other than actual sight. And it'll be very easy to track him down later, because his scent is in her memory now
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Zaos
Junior Member
[Z0:9]All the best things in life - are not really things at all.
Posts: 79
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Post by Zaos on Jan 28, 2009 8:53:52 GMT -5
Jeez, took me forever to post this time around. sorry So many things came up so my post had to wait until now... of course going to California for a convention didn't help any too. XD
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Post by Doyle on Feb 18, 2009 20:58:37 GMT -5
Okay, it seems the RP has grinded to a halt. Without a new post in 2 weeks we got to break out the defibrillator and shock it back to life now. Everyone knows who's turns are up next right?
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Post by Kepora on Feb 18, 2009 21:36:00 GMT -5
It'd be Mizzy and/or myself, but I'm kinda waiting on Gabby's response in order to really do anything.
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